Review: Trinity Hall June Event

Image credit: Carl Wikeley

Mind if Eye don't?

A May Ball theme must be imaginative and unique, because no-one is convinced that the extortionate ticket prices provide value for money. In a saturated market where most balls and June Events combine any abstract noun and “-philia” suffix, colleges are at a loss to offer something different.

And when they do try something new, it doesn’t always end well, as Trinity Hall’s 2016 June Event committee will tell you. Weeks of stress and debate led to this june event being renamed “Metropolis”, from “Tokyo To Kyoto”, after a heated furore over cultural appropriation. 

Hence my anticipation when the theme for the 2017 June Event was released: "Mind’s Eye". A reasonably interesting theme in the grand scheme of may week, Trinity Hall promised to provide everything your mind could fathom, and more. “Picture what you can’t see”, read the website for the event. Imagine the ethereal possibilities!

Sadly, someone took the theme a bit too literally: most of the decorations were just big, weird eyes. Yes, there was the odd floating statue in this court, and an impressive projection in that one. 

But putting some umbrellas in a tree and whacking a rubber bucket full of VKs does not maketh a party. 

Tit Hall June Event has a reputation for being too cool for school, but given that Conchita Wurst was playing at Kings’ Affair next door, no amount of house music, seemingly on both channels (!) of the silent disco, was going to compete. 

Amidst the sea of wandering eyes, there were some successes: the food was exceptional, and given that there was a noticeably low attendance, the queues were very short. I enjoyed an inordinate amount of arancini. Urban Shed’s appearance in a salad van was also a revelation. 

Alcohol (possibly not enough substance to make it through the deep house) was plentiful, and again there were rarely queues. 

I’m genuinely surprised that no-one on the committee was more concerned about the gaping hole in entertainment for the last hour. Yes, most people were simply sleeping or eating by 3am, but hearing the Abba tribute band all the way from Selwyn last night kept me awake until 4am, so literally anything would have been welcome for that final hour - even lurid Europop. Music was apparently still available in the Terrace Room, but I and other guests were unaware of this.

Thus is the paradox of the June Event: smaller venues and budgets afford more intimate and ostensibly more edgy parties, but in the end I’d rather see an Abba tribute band than atmospherica indie-rock like Palace. I suppose these things cater to a market, and by the end of the night Glasgow’s Denis Sulta had almost the entire college crammed into a tiny space normally used for JCR meetings. Edgy, and definitely too hot.

There was some good music, a lot of very good food and drink, but the extended opening times and inflated ticket price didn’t make for the best night ever. 

Ultimately, I don’t believe the intriguing theme was capitalised on. “Picture what you can’t see”, they said. I suppose being blown at in the face by a dry ice cannon meant I certainly couldn’t see. 

When your most enjoyable dance is to a 17-minute long disco version of the Star Wars theme, it seems the only way is up for next year’s june event! 

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