An Ode to Arlene Foster

Gregory Holyoke 5 June 2019
Image Credit: Rossographer

O Arlene, for you are still here
To me and others that brings a tear
A shivering spine, a clammy fear
Ears ringing: I cannot hear

A unionist you say you are
But a fascist in reality: Ha!
Yes, you really are so backward
Not sure even Fleetwood-Mac could

Made you seem kind and fun
Arlene, you are like a gun
Shooting wildly at decency
You should just sail out to decen-sea

I must admit you are quite clever
When Theresa May said that never
Was there a money tree
A billion pounds she gave to thee

For that supply and demand deal
Out of which you made a meal
You messed it up like your math
Yes in Stormont, what a faff

One is just not one point six
You silly, jumped up pile of pricks
Oh Arlene, can’t you see
There’s so much wrong with the DUP

And there’s nothing wrong with Sodomy
Oh how much it afflicts me
That that’s a quote from Ian Paisley
That man, he’s fucking craze-ly

I hope you have enjoyed this tune
You complete, total, swivel-eyed loon!