An Ode to Theresa May

Gregory Holyoke 28 May 2019
Image Credit: DonkeyHotey

O Theresa you have left us
And you have gone with such a fuss
Teary outside number ten
A look more glum than Tony Benn

You are no longer mother hen
And now you roam from glen to glen
Like Glenn from the Thick of it
But you’ve left us in a pile of shit

Yes, on your legacy you have shat
Like a dump of Larry, the cat
You said that you have tried your best
But still you could not pass the test

Of your promise to deliver Brexit
No, this problem you could not fex-it
You made the hostile environment
But is that what you environ-meant

To leave us with? Your legacy?
When you’ve been felled at the knee
So now you stand outside your house
Oh look, Larry caught a mouse

A leaving present apt and just
For, sadly, leave your post you must
So smile, relax, have a bap
For Boris will be just as crap

Theresa, May you take this ode?
But know, the royalties to me are owed

 

(A Poem Dedicated to Olivia Cowgill on her 20th Birthday)