Back to earth: The five types of people you met over Easter

Kate Ellison 11 April 2015

Easter Vacation is drawing towards its inevitable close and with this terrifying fact comes a chance to reflect. OK, that work schedule you promised your DoS you’d keep to didn’t exactly happen, but surely recharging your mental batteries is the greatest service you could have done yourself? Besides, you needed the break after the social minefield of coming back home. Like a bemused Doctor Who companion, you stumbled back to normality, totally unprepared for the creatures you would meet.

Family: As you emerged into this forgotten world, these are the first people you encountered. Your bed had fresh sheets, food was in the fridge and a cup of tea was steaming by the sofa; you knew you were going to appreciate your time with them. However, by the second day in, as you explained yet again how the new remote works, the glow began to fade and you were also left wondering when they became Game of Thrones fans – is that even allowed? Yet as you began to recover some semblance of a healthy sleep pattern and snorted at an Easter cracker joke – because yes, your family has those – you realise how much you’d missed them.

The awkward meeting: This was a school reunion that you’d rather not have attended. You went to their house twice in year seven and this placed you under the unfortunate obligation to stop when you passed them in the street. The end of school seemed a long time ago, but clearly not enough time had passed for either of you to have something interesting to say. You probably never had that much in common with them in the first place, long ago accepting your contact would be limited to Facebook posts on your respective birthdays. Luckily, they seemed just as uncomfortable about this chance meeting as you were and it didn’t take long for the Mexican standoff to be broken and excuses to be made – it really was a shame neither of you had time for that coffee. It may have left you feeling socially awkward, but it certainly made you appreciate the people at Cambridge more.

Ex-crush: Having spent years staring at them during school, it was very strange to meet them again. You were star-crossed lovers, held apart only by their complete lack of romantic interest in you. Sure, they followed you on Twitter and they liked your profile picture that one time, but as your friends pointed out, this was hardly a declaration of undying affection. You’d moved on a while ago and yet you still nearly suffered a minor heart attack when you bumped into them at Asda. But as you remembered the time you sneezed on them in biology, your internal shudder of horror wasn’t as large as you expected. Even you could admit their new hairstyle was weird and besides, you have bigger fish to fry!

Overly interested older friend: We all know that the question ‘How's university?’ is now part of the standard greeting, but this person really wanted the answer from you. Don’t get me wrong, I know Cambridge is amazing, and who would automatically understand the casual reference to your imminent college marriage? And yet spending your vacation explaining the intricacies of your exams was hardly a dream come true – especially since having this conversation meant by definition that you were currently avoiding revision. However, these conversations could be mildly entertaining, especially if you were one of the lucky few that knew someone who went to Cambridge. You eventually got the conversation away from your work and were treated to tales worthy of Austin Seven cars appearing on the Senate House roof. On the other hand, they left you wondering whether university had got tamer or if it’s just you – your Jägerbomb story suddenly didn’t feel so impressive.

Your friends: You achieved very little with these people, despite the agreement you started with at the beginning of Easter to arrange ‘study days’. However, seeing them was truly worth ruining your exam prospects for. Whether it was hitting the town or watching TV together in your pyjamas, it soon felt like no time had passed since you last saw them. They understood your references to past glories, such as the time your cooking caused an entire building to be evacuated, and were also completely open to odd procrastination suggestions – that biscuit blizzard was especially memorable (think copious amounts of crumbs and a large hairdryer). It’s going to be really strange leaving these guys behind when you go back to Cambridge. You love your crowd at College, but they won’t be replacing these losers anytime soon.