Easter Procrastination 101: Which tertiary Harry Potter character are you?

Amelia Oakley 2 April 2015

It’s the Easter Vacation, the build up to exams, five weeks of uninterrupted study time, without the pressure of essay deadlines and the temptation of Sunday night Life for you to secure that First. Well that’s the theory of it. Unfortunately putting theories of productivity into practice for me has always seemed an impossible task. There’s so much to see, so much to do, friends to catch up with, pubs to frequent, and entire TV series which you just couldn’t possibly watch at another time. 

But even so, despite the wonder of the outside world, and the benefits of fresh air — during vacation I always seem to regress into an anti-social pre-teen, clung to my computer, trawling through the infinite pages of the internet unable to pull my mangled claws from the keyboard. So what better way to procrastinate than by sharing my top tips on losing yourself on the internet this vacation, and with it, losing all hope of that first….and that 2:1. 


The Big Dogs… 

We’re talking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the pinnacle of all of your procrastination needs — Youtube. A ten minute scroll through your news feed stalking everyone’s holiday antics, their trips abroad, and visits to friends should theoretically be enough to convince you that the outdoors is worth visiting this vacation — but as we’ve already established, theories are useless. Instead, two hours later you find yourself sat in exactly the same position, on exactly the same website, completely caught up on your school friend’s teenage pregnancy and the relationship woes of ten of her friends whom you’ve never even met. At this point you might realise that your revision and with it your future prospects are going completely down the pan. Time to revise! Or…perhaps time to follow that sudden urge to import all of your photos into VSCOcam and completely reinvent the aesthetic of your Instagram…that’s important too right?


A cavernous hollow of procrastination — from sci-fi to fan fic, from cat gifs to high art, Tumblr has something for everyone. Dipping your toes into to the world of Tumblr isn’t to be taken lightly. Be warned: you’ll unwittingly be dragged into the utterly terrifying whirlpool of the ‘fandom’, leave championing Youtube stars you’d never even heard of before, and knowing the entire plot of a TV show you’ve never even watched. Highlights include 'Great Talks' a collection of simply inspiration talks throughout the years, from J.K Rowling to John Cleese, take a look if you fancy furthering your inferiority complex. But if you are after something a little more lighthearted ‘If Paintings Could Text’  with the tagline ‘A revival of classical art and epic texts’ is a must — if you like Medieval Reacts, you’ll love this. Or if you’re looking for a quick fix to your grossly disorganised life head over to ‘Things Fitting Perfectly Into Other Things' — trust me, it’s strangely therapeutic. 


Buzzfeed is always asking the important questions like 'Which Secondary Harry Potter Character Are You?', 'Which former member of One Direction are you?' and of course ‘How Handsome is your imaginary Boyfriend?’. These are pressing, pressing issues which just cannot be delayed by the demands of French Grammar, problem sheets, or Piers Plowman commentary. Remember, however, that a visit to Buzzfeed isn’t just for Easter, it’s for life — this tab, once opened, may never be closed. 


Starting a new series in the build up to exams is possibly the best and worst thing you will ever do, so make sure you definitely do it. Netflix is what I like to refer to as the children’s playground of procrastination — regardless of the quality of the climbing frames (I’m talking about that peculiar section of early 2000s low-budget rom-coms) there’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of in one confined location, open twenty-four hours a day. If you are going to do it properly, ensure you start with a US series — UK series with their seven or so episodes just cannot match up to the might of the 20+ American standard. Perhaps you'll get stuck into a bit of Parks and Recreation, some Brooklyn Nine Nine, or maybe you want to relive your youth and indulge in the entire back catalogue of Malcolm in the Middle. 

Arts & Culture 

Perhaps you are after a slightly classier affair, and want to culture yourself during your procrastination period.  In that case there’s a plethora of online magazines from Rookie, to The Inkling, to The Toast. A trip to somewhere like Bitch might be just up your street if you want to read some feminist responses to mainstream media and the quest for intersectionality. Fighting the patriarchy is always a valid alternative to revision. Or maybe you just want to look at some Art, Photography or Illustration and get inspired; in that case head over to Dazed Digital to keep up to date with everything you need to know about young creatives, or Pintrest to do a bit of DIY, and plan the decorations for your room next term — which ultimately you will never get round to making or purchasing. 

Games & Quizzes 

If you somehow manage to exhaust the list of Buzzfeed quizzes and articles, never fear, Sporcle has always got your back – it's an oldie, but a goodie. How quickly can you name all the US states, all the Harry Potter characters, or the entire Star Wars cast? Who cares? It doesn’t matter. But when you are in the height of procrastination, it shall become the most important thing in the entire world. Perhaps now is also the time to pull out the old games consoles you haven’t touched for three years. But whatever you do, avoid falling into the inescapable pit of downloading Sims 4 one night when you’ve drunk enough wine to truly believe that £59.99 is a reasonable price tag. Your life will never be the same.