Infinite monkey theorem: the idea that if you hand a monkey a typewriter and leave him there typing away for an infinite length of time, he’ll eventually produce the works of Shakespeare.
Similarly, if a university newspaper editor had an infinite amount of conversations with someone, inevitably every possible faux pas and awkward moment could rear their head. But we would wager the most common one occurs when a friend stands upon their soapbox and spouts off about any national’s coverage of events.
Inevitably, the loose-lipped acquaintance will refer to the nationals as “real papers” relative to yours, making the average student rag a kind of “unreal paper.” One can only imagine the quantum mechanics nightmare an unreal paper must consist of!
Nine times out of ten, they’ll apologise profusely, but it’s the truth, university papers aren’t “real papers.” And isn’t that fantastic? This week’s TCS is one part of the biggest makeover in the young publication’s history. In a staid national, pinned down with shareholders and dividends, such an extreme relaunch would be impossible. This issue you’re holding, along with our brand new website, launching in the near future, is our new start.
That’s the amazing opportunity Freshers’ Week offers, whether these are your first tentative steps in Cambridge since your terror-filled interview in the city last December or world-weary Finalists. 24 hours in this “week” (please, four days is hardly a week) can be just another day, or the opportunity to completely change the rules, depending on what you make of them.
Change isn’t easy. The sneaky lure of consistency is a tempting hook to fall sinker for.
It is this complacency which Cambridge’s student campaigners are rallying against. Talk of shares, assets and financial transactions are confounding, but we have a responsibility to educate ourselves about the goings on within our instutions’ bureaucratic depths. This University’s reputation rests on pushing the boundaries of creative thought. How, then, can the best in Britain expect students to stay satisfied with excuses of commercial interests and Freedom of Information exemptions?
Probability theory isn’t simple. But this is: our institutions need to turn over a new leaf. Set them a good example this Fresher’s Week.