Cambridge Male Fashion - A Proposition

The writer demonstrates his recommended outfit choice Image credit: LUDWIG BULL

A thought experiment: imagine you are visiting England from abroad. Your friend suggests a visit to Cambridge. You agree and purchase tickets for a tour (excluding punting costs), and get on a monstrous coach promising to take you to Hogwarts, or at the very least, Downton Abbey. Thirty minutes and three hundred pictures into your tour, you notice something is not right. The old buildings are there, the big gates guarded by Dementors are there, and although you haven't seen any witchcraft, you observe that wands and horcruxes are sold everywhere (Heffers = Ollivanders?) So what's missing?

The students. ‘Clothes don't merely make the man, they are the man’, as Mark Twain said. By this logic, Cambridge has no students. When was the last time you saw a Cambridge student that looked like one? Ball attire is the exception that proves the rule. Usually, Cambridge (male) students wear sweatpants, hoodies, or pyjamas - with occasional skater variations. That's comfortable, practical and not unknown to other shores, dude. But does it enhance human virtue?

What are the alternatives? One option is to follow in the footsteps of the Sidgwick flasher. The CUCFS and the ‘Best Bums’-crowd may take this literally. Another option is to make like the other place, where, in an all-too familiar spirit of using pompousness to distract from insubstantiality, ceremonial dress is required for examinations. Neither option is attractive.

Finally, a compromise. There is a way out. No need to commit a nudity offence or to reinforce the stereotype of the posh ‘what does your father do?’ Cambridge student. Male students can opt for the Turtleneck + Jacket. This timeless look is the sartorial equivalent of the Club Sandwich. Approachable (you eat it with your hands) but sophisticated (I hear it's really hard to make - the sandwich). Delicate (cashmere) but not pretentious (bacon and fries). Apparently this is the stylistic approach taken by fashionistas and aficionados across the globe (read, Zoolander). 

Cambridge (male) students - once a week, let's go to lectures in something other than what we wore to bed. Let's start a movement: #TurtleneckTuesday. Use my coupon to buy the props at Zara (S4RECAPITALISMO96P).

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