Tale as old as time: The colleges as Disney characters

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This land of Hogwarts dinners, fairytale castle colleges, and picturesque vistas opens itself up to all kinds of comparisons, both good and bad. But what if Cambridge was taken over by the spirit of Disney? Which part would your college play in the ensuing madness? Don't fret – we've done the leg work for you. The definitive low-down on the colleges as Disney characters. 

Christ's – Belle

“Look, there she goes, that girl is so peculiar. I wonder if she's feeling well. With a dreamy, far-off look and her nose stuck in a book…” Nerdy but also stunningly beautiful.

Churchill – Jumba

“Place that idiot scientist under arrest.” “I prefer to be called "Evil Genius!" Mad scientists unite: Churchill’s got a rockin’ science scene. Just watch out for any Stitch-like genetic creations.

Clare – Dug 

“My name is Dug. I have just met you, and I love you.” Welcoming to all, the main college path is open for free till midnight, seven days a week. Spreading the love – just don’t walk through the Middle Gate.

Corpus Christi – Simba

“Hey! Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?” Small but mighty, Corpus sure knows how to be totally awesome.

Downing – Pocahontas

“How high will the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, then you'll never know.” Greenest College, 2012 (along with Jesus College, oh well). Hug those trees! Peace!

Emmanuel – Anna

“For the first time in forever I won’t be alone!” One word: ducks. They’re everywhere.

Fitzwilliam – Rex

“ROAR! Were you scared? Tell me honestly.” “I was close to being scared that time.” A bit fearsome on the outside (architecturally!) but lovely on the inside.

Girton – Ariel

“I want to be where the people are! Wish I could be part of that world…” You know you’re far when Girton is separate from Cambridge on the national map of the UK, or if you stumble across the college’s highly active taxi pooling facebook group.

Gonville & Caius – Pain & Panic

“Coming, your most lugubriousness!” Mildly evil, but ultimately incompetent.

Homerton – Olaf

“Some people are worth melting for.” Warm, friendly, and lovable, if a bit out there (geographically of course).

Jesus – Maximus

“You should know that this is the strangest thing I’ve ever done!” That horse statue is epic. So much epic… in an oddly equine way.

King’s – Quasimodo

“Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone, gazing at the people down below me.” Great singers living aloft in pretty buildings. The gargoyles don’t sing though, unfortunately.

Magdalene – Cruella De Vil

“We lose more women to marriage than war, famine, and disease.” That’s one… interesting perspective. Well when the college finally admitted women in 1988, apparently the flag was flown at half-mast and some students donned black armbands. Wikipedia sure knows the college’s character inside–out it seems.

Murray Edwards – Merida

“I am Merida, and I’ll be shooting for my own hand!” AKA “I don’t need no man.”

Newnham – Mulan

“Let’s get down to business!” Fighting gender inequality since 1871.

Pembroke – Mr. Incredible  

“No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit?” #CambridgeProblems. Pembroke’s just a little too flawless for its own good.

Peterhouse – Mother Gothel

“Mother knows best.” Well, perhaps when ‘mother’ was born all the way back in 1284 she might. Ah old age – a blessing of bragging rights or a curse of tourist attraction?

Queens' – Elsa

“A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I'm the queen.” It’s all in the name after all. But conundrum of conundrums: where to put the apostrophe? Just let it go – grammar never bothered me anyway.

Robinson – Sebastian 

“The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake. Such wonderful things surround you – what more is you lookin' for?” Robison may not be the prettiest college, but that shouldn’t get you down – it’s an awesome place if you keep your eyes closed!

Selwyn – Thomas O’Malley

“Come to think of it, O'Malley, you're not a cat, you're a rat. Right?” Or a dog, to the Selwyn Master. Reality can be stretched for the right people it seems.

Sidney Sussex – Baloo

“Look for the bare necessities: forget about your worries and your strife!” With such an enviable proximity to Sainsbury’s, Sidney students sure don’t have to look far. Unless they’re looking for prickly pears – that might be a bit niche. And Waitrose is further out.

St Catharine's – Merlin

“Don't you get any foolish ideas that magic will solve all your problems, because it won't.” Just tell that to Ian McKellen – Gandalf sure looks enough like Merlin to know a few deadline extension spells.  

St. John’s – Maleficent

“Stand back you fools!” Entry for tourists: £7.50.

Trinity – Hercules

“I have often dreamed of a far off place where the crowds will cheer when they see my face.” Yep, we know you all have some pretty big dreams. It sure must be hard having those 32 Nobel Prizes to live up to. And Newton. And the author of Winnie the Pooh.  

Trinity Hall – Megara

“I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day.” When Trinity is your neighbour, sass is the name of the game.

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