Do You Think They're Sexy? Unconventional Crushes

Irresistible? Image credit: Dreamworks
A sex icon? Image credit: hilltipkatie
Still got it? Image credit: jaycross
Power is sexy? Image credit: Chatham House

Lord Farquaad- Katie Heath-Whyte

Though hardly the sexiest character in Shrek, I am fully able to justify my love for this most misunderstood of cartoon characters. At a mere 5’1” myself, I empathise with Farquaad’s Napoleon Complex, and see past his tyrannous streak to the tender, tortured soul within. Together, we could have ruled Duloc with sincerity and charm. My pubescent emo phase brought with it an infatuation for many a ravenhaired man, but Farquaad’s silky black locks are surely unmatched in their groomed perfection. His strong jawline and sexy drawl complete the package, and, masochistic tendencies aside, I can’t see why he’s not more of a mainstream movie crush.

Severus Snape- Jossie Evans

When it comes to my crush, it’s all about the voice. He needs no love potion to win my heart: Professor Snape, it’s always been you. Whether he is making Harry’s life a misery, or declaring his continued love for Lily Potter – “always!” – those dulcet tones always give me butterflies. As well as this hidden chivalry, Snape exudes confidence by rocking the centre parting well past its nineties heyday. The permanent frown line and brooding eyes are a constant reminder of his past ‘dark side’. And who doesn’t love a rebel?

Inspector Morse- Catriona Stirling

So, when I say I’ve always had a thing for older men... I don’t know whether it’s his passion for pretty cars and fast women, his penchant for crossword puzzles or his love of a good scotch (always a virtue in a man), but there’s something about this curmudgeonly detective. He’s quiet, intelligent and brooding with an utterly endearing, socially awkward intensity. I envisage long evenings by the fire with tea/single malt, Puccini and bananagrams. The attraction may, however, be related to my weakness for unavailable men; Morse died at the end of season twelve. Why are all the good ones taken?

Jack Straw- Connie Vaughan

My unconventional crush (he’s been on TV enough to qualify!) has been ceaselessly mocked since I was seventeen. Perhaps it’s a power thing. When my affection for Jack Straw developed into a fully-fledged crush he was occupying an important position in Gordon Brown’s cabinet. Maybe it’s the soft voice, the intelligence, enigmatic quietness, hinting at something deeper than your average politician. I know he’s old, and I know he’s not in the public eye anymore, but neither bothers me. You’ve got to love him. And those adorable glasses he wore in the nineties!

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