How to Make a Voodoo Doll

22 February 2008

Let’s be honest: at times we’ve all wanted to use a voodoo doll to wreak revenge throughout Cambridge town. Thursday provides the means to your vengeful ends.

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Trawl through the Facebook photos of your chosen victim.

Pick a particularly disgusting one.

Print it out.

Get a sock (clean or otherwise).

Fill sock with rice (cous cous works too if you’re partial to it).

Tie up the end of the sock to avoid unnecessary spillage.

Safety pin the picture to the sock.

Get needles, think deep thoughts, focus your energy and stab away.

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WARNING: TCS and Thursday do not take responsibility for any unwarranted attacks you may suffer, pain you may cause or any other bad stuff you do if you take our advice.

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Voodoo is actually a well-established monotheistic religion; bet you didn’t know that! However, followers of the modern variant of this traditional African religion believe that the many aspects of our life such as health, wealth and happiness are directed by spirits called Loa and it is these spirits that can be reached through a Voodoo doll. The doll represents the spirit of an individual, so you can make requests to the doll that will get through to the person. If you want to truly harness the full power of the Loa, then the doll can be used to ask these spirits to reverse your unlucky streak or facilitate whatever you desire. Our doll hasn’t been blessed by the correct Voodoo wise men, but giving it a go won’t do any harm. Well, probably not.