Love in the Time of Vodka

31 January 2008

kiss v. touch with the lips, esp. as a sign of love, affection, greeting, or reverence. n. 1 a touch with the lips in kissing. 2 the slight impact when one snooker ball etc. lightly touches another.

Actually, the page wasn’t open on kissing when it happened. That would’ve been just silly, don’t you think? We were somewhere in ‘P’: palfrey, panoply, lots of things to do with horses if I remember rightly. Possibly palomino. Anyway, without so much as a pause or a please, he kissed me – across the Oxford English Dictionary. Two snooker balls touching in the night.

It was thus I waved goodbye to 2007, and along with it my one and only Resolution. A mere week earlier, in a vodka-assisted moment of despair, my friend and I made a pact: A vow of complete celibacy from that day forth, to last until 1st January 2009. We even shook hands, and it all seemed rather inspired and exemplary. That is, until that cunning dictionary got involved.

Well, we all know how as soon as you say you won’t do something, you go right away and do it. Especially if it involves the opposite sex. But I figured at this point I was pretty safe – I happen to live in a particularly arid zone of the country when it comes to eligible males (my mother has a theory there’s something in the water). How was I to know that a certain uncatchable catch was returned from Shanghai for one week only and would pop up at the one party I bestowed with my shining presence?

Anyway, that was my resolution shot to pieces. But I’m a flexible gal, and undeterred, modified the hasty vow. After all, it is my view that resolutions should be about making life rather better, not making yourself generally revolting on a diet of cabbages or depriving the alcohol industry of your generous expenditure. So, clichéd as it sounds, quality over quantity is my new motto. This means vodka over wodka, M&S over Sainsburys, and thrillingly posh dictionary-reading intellectuals over anyone in the vicinity of Cindies. As my ex-favourite supermarket says – you can taste the difference.

N.B. As the delicious dictionary doings were technically last year, and Monsieur le Dictionnaire has returned to China, my vow still holds true for 2008 so far. Fingers crossed it won’t be for long…