“May the Force be with you”: If Star Wars characters were Cambridge colleges

Anna Bradley 19 January 2016

A long time ago in a galaxy very, very near, the University of Cambridge was founded, and some of its thirty one colleges reminded The Cambridge Student of some classic Star Wars characters. So sit back, crack out the popcorn, and enjoy this run-down of some famous characters’ Cambridge college counterparts.

Luke Skywalker
Star Wars’ most iconic character meets its match with Cambridge’s poster child: King’s. Both the most famous figures in their respective franchises, the Jedi-tobe’s perpetual onscreen whining in ‘A New Hope’ is met with the same annoyance reserved for King’s, infamous for its hub of student activism.

Han Solo
One of the early warning signs heralding the disappointment that was the prequels was the special 1997 edition of ‘A New Hope’ when George Lucas awkwardly changed a scene with CGI so that Han shoots a bounty hunter in retaliation, rather than in cold blood. The fanboy slogan ‘Han shot first’ is surely embodied best in Cambridge’s first college, Peterhouse.

Leia Organa
Had Cambridge been on Alderaan rather than Earth, Princess Leia might have wanted to assert her feminist independence by attending the University’s most famous allfemale college: Newnham. Sadly, as the only woman in the galaxy, she may have found it a rather isolating experience.

Emperor Palpatine
Pure evil with delusions of grandeur and a near-erotic enjoyment from the suffering of others, the Emperor has no match in Cambridge other than Trinity. The Cambridge Student has long suspected that the Trinity owned O2 Arena in London had a peculiar resemblance to the Death Star. Also, Trinity actually educated at least two emperors in the past two-hundred years.

"I am fluent in over six billion forms of communication.” Exactly the type of line one might expect either from a protocol droid or from a St John’s student fresh off their ‘gap yah’. C3P0’s preferred gold plating speaks volumes about the average wealth of those at St John’s, while the droid’s red limb in ‘The Force Awakens’ is no doubt a reference to the college’s red chino brigade.

No Cambridge list article would be complete without a cheap shot at Girton, so everyone’s favourite college outside of Cambridge is unquestionably the counterpart to the diminutive Jedi Master, who exiled himself on the far flung system of Dagobah. The boggy planet is also reminiscent of the greenery the college is surrounded by thanks to being so far from urban development (sorry, Girton).