Sexual Healing: Public pubic investigation

Anonymous 27 May 2014

Dear All,

At my college there is a guy who sits in the library and, well, watches videos on the internet that definitely aren't BBC1 documentaries while, well, touching something that definitely isn't a Bic biro. I could deal with it if it wasn't for the overwhelming sexual frustration that oozes from him, along with the occasional shoddily-suppressed grunt and moment of excruciating eye contact. How to respond?

Are you telling me that this guy masturbates? In public? I mean, don't get me wrong, last term's Sexual Healing columnist was right in advising people to try new things… but when your sexual ventures start to have a negative impact on other people…a line needs to be drawn.

^^^^^^^^This here is that line ^^^^^

That doesn't mean we shouldn’t pity the poor guy, after all, he’s suffering from “overwhelming sexual frustration” – no wonder, if he masturbates every time he's placed in a library.

But his behavior is offensive and anti-social, for obvious reasons… how the hell do you clean that up, for instance? I don't particularly want to know, so please don't write in. By the sounds of it this guy has no shame, so I doubt approaching him directly will help. It's not like you can take it away from him like you would a child of his favourite toy.

If it gets really bad, and tutors/porters aren't intervening, then one desperate suggestion would be threatening to video him and posting it online. If he isn't too fussed about the impact it has on other people, perhaps considering its impact upon his career or family will change things.

But then, perhaps it won't. To be honest, if it's gotten to that stage, it sounds like he may have let go of sensibilities a long time ago, and that this has actually become an addiction. In which case, he needs to seek professional help . This columns advice can only stretch so far I'm afraid.

Normally my top tip for quitting would be to put yourself in a public place every time you get the urge to masturbate… but somehow I doubt that's going to work here. Cold showers it is, then.

When a guy wants to chalk his snooker cue…         Credit: Dave Kirkham