Six species of brunch dependant

lr407 8 November 2015

It is the brunching hour. Those who brunch are a special sort, often making this meal the highlight of their day. This weekly feet-up festivity, filled with waffles, scrambled eggs and hash browns preps the bright and bushy tailed scholars to continue in the whirl that is Michaelmas. Today, we take a closer look at a few breeds of these cherished brunchers that you can always count on attending.  

The librarian – It’s the bag. If it weren’t for the bulky book filled satchel we honestly wouldn’t know. Oh and the highlighter-stained thumb. Always a giveaway. They’re putting on a good show, claiming ‘oh that first coffee always hits the spot!’ when we know it’s definitely her third. Dedication. How long she’s spent slaving over Ovid this morning in the library is unknown, all you’re sure of is that she’s looking fresh, it’s a 24/7 library and she’s got a weird affection for early mornings.

The rower – This one’s hard to spot amidst the piles of sausages, hash browns, eggs, toast, fried bread, toast, pasta, potatoes and toast. But there’s our rower, duly stashed out in skin tight lycra, grinning from ear to ear in flip flops, announcing how wondrous the sunrise looked from the river at 6am and happily overloading the carbs for his third session of the day.

The all nighter – head down, digging into a weird concoction of porridge garnished with Nescafé, ketchup and brown sauce. Where was she last night? There are rumours… a sticky corner of Fez… the library… propping up VOL… a punt… here…  All we know is she was definitely in that dress last night and a makeup wipe hasn’t greeted her face for a while.

The dramatist – Here he sits with his coffee stained script splayed out in front of him. Unshaven. Bleary eyed, he makes contact with no one. The late show at the ADC was one late show too many and although still tingling from the dramatical genius he discharged upon his admiring audience, clearly this is a seriously needed sausage roll if he intends to uphold his creative virtuosity.

The Cindier – distinct from the all-nighter. This trackie clad being went a little too hard at Cindies and in true Cambridge style peaked early (around 11pm) but is still nursing the mother of all hangovers and making up for it devouring quantities of syrup sploshed waffles.

The late starter – Donning the slippers and dressing gown, this bruncher has no qualms with the tone of this repast. He is here to brunch. Complete with the Sunday Telegraph and a biro for the cryptic, he sips his second cappuccino thoughtfully, whilst savouring a Danish pastry. He is in it for the long haul and may well sit contemplating until evensong formal as evidently his day only really just got going.