“Your order has been dispatched” – and my heart taken: my love affair with online shopping

Jessy Ahluwalia 8 November 2013

Ah, ASOS. We have a love-hate relationship. Most of the time we are blissfully happy, whiling away hours that I don’t have to spare in each others’ company, pretending not to notice the fact that I don’t have a job, any money or even an event that requires a new outfit.

The only time we fall out is when ASOS put their foot down and demand I actually have some money before pressing ‘Confirm Order’. Apart from this minor drawback (which I have just decided is a rather endearing, albeit obsessive, trait of theirs), I do have an infatuation with online shopping. I mean, who doesn’t love receiving post? And we’re talking fancy new stuff, not just mundane offers from Staples for ink cartridges.

I must admit to having many disasters when something turns up and it’s completely different to what I thought it was going to be. But that’s half the fun! Why not order a white work blouse that is actually entirely transparent and not even white? I don’t need another cocktail dress, but then again nor did I need to spend £15 on scented candles only to then realise that I wasn’t allowed them in college anyway.

The fact that I can spend money without seeing it go out of my account, or even having to get my purse out, is just one of the many benefits of this wonderful invention. I no longer have to calculate in my head how much 15% off is (I didn’t do A-Level Maths, okay?) because ASOS does it all for me.

Online shopping is my guilt-free, anonymous way of pretending I’m one of the Kardashian sisters. Although whilst they seem to have more money than sense, I actually have neither. It’s okay though, because when that Amazon order comes through and it’s full of pretty stationary, I forget all the stress, unease and tension created by life’s real worries.

That polka dot pen that my laptop case makes everything worthwhile. ASOS is heaven to any lazy shopper, and I must admit that I am a devout follower of this particular brand of religion.